ZOR DÄ°NLEME
Wife: Hi. Hi Sweetie. I’m home. Um, I’m HOME!
Husband: Oh, hi honey. Welcome home. How was your day? [ Well . . . ] That’s good.
Wife: It was terrible. The company is going to lay off about 50 people, and I might be one of them.
Husband: Oh, that’s nice.
Wife: That’s nice? You’re not even listening.
Husband: What?
Wife: So, what did I tell you?
Husband: Um, you said that the company . . . something about 60Â employees, um . . . and you might be one of them . . . or something like that.
Wife: No, that’s not what I said. [ Oh? ] The problem is you never listen. Never! So look. I bought you this book. Here. Read it.
Husband: What? Now what? Big Egos, Little Ears: Getting Your Husband Out of the Clouds. What’s this? What? And you paid $35 dollars for it?
Wife: No. YOU did. I used YOUR credit card.
Husband: Oh, whatever. Um, so, what great secrets does the book contain that I don’t already know ?
Wife: Okay. First of all . . . .
Husband: Okay. I know, I know. I know what you’re going to say.
Wife: No, you DON’T. The first thing is not to interrupt and think you know what I’m going to say. Hold your tongue for once and give me a chance to share my feelings before you come up with some witty response.
Husband: Okay. I got it . . . I think.
Wife: I hope. Number two. Show me that you’re listening. Stop checking Facebook while I’m talking to you, turn off the TV, look me in the eyes. Anything to show me that you’re paying attention.
Husband: Right. Uh, so what’s for dinner?
Wife: Tsk . . . see!
Husband: [ Laughing ] I’m sorry. I’m just joking.
Wife: It’s not funny. And . . . it’s not funny!! So QUIT LAUGHING!! And don’t tell me what to do to fix my problems either. Most of the time, I don’t need solutions. I just need you to listen to my feelings.
Husband: Okay. I guess I haven’t listened enough, [ No. You don’t listen very much. ] and I haven’t shown much empathy [ No. ] And, well, how about if I read a couple of chapters and then we talk about it? Is that okay?
Wife: Yeah. That would be nice. Thank you.
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So come on down to Frontier Furniture. Located downtown two blocks east of city hall, across from Union Square. We’re open daily from 10:00 AM to 9:30 PM. So, come on in, and let us make your dream home a realit
Are you looking for appliances or furniture to give new life to your home? Look no further. Here at Frontier Furniture, we have everything you need to give your home a new look and feel.
Stereos, video machines, refrigerators, light fixtures, dining room tables, washers and dryers. You name it; we have it! Low on cash? We have an easy rent-to-own plan that will put you in your favorite sofa tonight. Big color TVs as low as two hundred and twenty-five dollars; digital pianos starting at three ninety-nine ($399); king size beds from two hundred and fifty dollars. Free delivery on all major appliances.
So come on down to Frontier Furniture. Located downtown two blocks east of city hall, across from Union Square. We’re open daily from 10:00 AM to 9:30 PM. So, come on in, and let us make your dream home a realit
Woman: Hi. Thanks for coming to the interview today. It’s nice to meet you.
Man: Yeah, well, thank you.
Woman: To begin with, why don’t you tell us a little bit about yourself?
Man: Okay. Um, yeah. Well, I’ve always been interested in teaching in a language program like this, and uh, I graduated with a degree in English and psychology eight years ago, [ Oh, really, both? ]. Yeah, [Wow] and uh then I landed my first job overseas in Japan.
Woman: Oh, wow. That’s pretty impressive. What did you do there? What kind of work?
Man: Well, I worked full time, uh, for a private language school in Tokyo for the first two years, and then I found a job at a community college.
Woman: Oh really? So, exactly what did you do in your work there then?
Man: Well, I taught English and, uh, culinary arts.
Woman: You taught cooking classes?
Man: Well, well, I know it sounds like an unusual combination, but I completed a program in culinary arts before I got my, uh, English and psychology degrees.
Woman: Oh, Wow. You’ve done a lot, haven’t you? [ Yeah. ] So, what exactly, um, how did you teach and what exactly did you do?
Man: Well, um, many of my students wanted to become chefs in restaurants, or they wanted to start their own restaurants, uh, and in our area, there were many, uh, tourists tourist spots. A lot of tourists came to that particular area, and so with English, they would be able to communicate not only with suppliers, you know things that they need for restaurant’s food and so forth, but also their customers, and so I taught them English and cooking at the same time.
Woman: Wow. That’s, that’s pretty impressive. That’s interesting, so . . . [ . . . and tasty. I was . . . ] Oh, I bet. So, why did you return to the United States? How long have you been back?
Man: I’ve been back for, uh, probably about a year now.
Woman: Okay, so what brought you back then?
Man: Well, one of my former students opened a sushi restaurant, uh, in town, and he asked me to work with him.
Woman: Really? What’s the name of the restaurant?
Man: Well, it’s called Flying Sushi. Have you ever heard of it?
Woman: Yes, I’ve been there. Their food is fabulous; it’s top-notch. It’s really hard just to get a reservation there.
Man: I know, and uh, well, I work there two weeknights, and uh, and then . . .
Woman: So, two nights a week you’re working there still?
Man: Right, right, [Okay, uh-huh] but now, I want to return to teaching. I’ve also been working as a therapist at a treatment center for teenagers struggling with depression and other mental health disorders.
Woman: Oh, wow, that would be a really interesting job.
Man: It is, it is.
Woman: Wow. You have such a wide range of experiences. Um, you know, to be honest, we have fifteen people who are applying for this position. You’ve got quite a background, but why don’t you tell me three reasons why you would be the best person for this job.
Man: Um, well, first of all, uh, I understand that different students have different learning styles, and for that reason, I’ve used iPads, video, music, cooking, drama, role plays, and games to reach every student. [ That’s good. ] And second, I have a background in academic and psychological counseling and advising [ Uh, huh ] . . . skills that are often needed, you know, in working with international students.
Woman: Yeah, that could be really helpful.
Man: So you know, many of them struggle with, uh, emotional turmoil, you know, homesickness. . . .
Woman: Yeah, coming to a new place . . .
Man: Right, and so making the transition can be very overwhelming, and uh . . .
Woman: Good. So, what’s . . . what would you say would be a third reason?
Man: And finally, I speak four different languages . . . .
Woman: Four? Wow! What languages do you speak?
Man: Well, I speak Spanish, Portuguese, and Japanese at an advanced level.
Woman: At an advanced level? [Right] Wow.
Man: And I also speak Arabic at a high-intermediate level.
Woman: Well, that’s very, very impressive. You do have an impressive resume.
Man: Thank you.
Woman: Um, what we’re doing . . . we’re gonna [going to] have two rounds of interviews. We will contact you on Friday [Okay] and let you know whether or not you’ll be coming back for the second round of interviews.
Man: Okay.
Woman: It’s been really nice meeting you, and thank you for your time.
Daughter: Dad, Dad, Dad!
Father: Uh, what, what, uh, uh!?!?
Daughter: The movie’s over. You slept through the best part.
Father: Ah, ah, I must have dozed off during the last few minutes.
Daughter: Right. You were gone for so long you should have brought your pillow and blanket. So, what did you think about it?
Father: Well, overall, I’m a little disappointed with the movie. I mean, the story was a little bizarre, you have to admit. I mean, really. How believable is a plot about a captain who navigates his spaceship to the far reaches of the galaxy and encounters a race of frog people. I mean, come on.
Daughter: Ah, I thought it was fantastic [Uhhh]. I mean, you have to admit the special effects were awesome, and the acting wasn’t bad either.
Father: Ah, come on. I mean, what about the ship’s communications officer? I mean, what did you think about him? [Well . . .] Wasn’t he a little weird to you? He was always talking to himself, and he had that funny hairdo?
Daughter: Well, he was a little . . . unusual [Yeah, yeah], but the ship’s doctor was amazing. It was so cool when he brought the captain back to life during one of the battles.
Father: That was pretty realistic, but then the rest of the movie just went from bad to worse. And the photography was so fake!
Daughter: How do you know? You were snoring so loud (the) neighbors probably had to close their windows. It was that bad.
Father: Ah, well, let’s go to bed
Bank Teller: Hi. How can I help you?
Robber: Uh, this is a stick-up . Put all the money in this bag . . . now.
Bank Teller: What? What are you talking about? I’m going to get the manager.
Robber: Wait! I have a gun.
Bank Teller: Where?
Robber: In . . . in my pocket . . . see?
Bank Teller: What? Ah, that’s not a gun. That’s your hand made to look like a gun.
Robber: That’s what you think, so don’t do anything funny . . . and don’t press any alarms. Nothing. Just put the money in the bag.
Bank Teller: Okay, but I only have a few dollars and some loose change in my register.
Robber: I don’t care. Just stuff it in this bag.
Bank Teller: I mean, you could make more money setting up a lemonade stand outside the bank and selling each cup for twenty-five cents.
Robber: I don’t care! Give me the money NOW. Good grief!
Bank Teller: Okay, okay. You don’t have to get all worked up about it. Let’s see. [Come on!] Let’s see . . . Here are a few ones [Come on . . . hurry up!!], a couple of tens. . . . some coins. [Come on!] Oh, look! Here’s an old 1935 penny. I haven’t seen one of those in a while.
Robber: Come on! Stop the chit-chat and fill the bag.
Bank Teller: Okay, okay. Cranky, aren’t we. Oh, your bag has a small hole in it. Let me get you a new one.
Robber: Small hole . . . big hole. I don’t care. Put the money in your sock if you have to.
Bank Teller: Well, you see, I’m still in training as a new bank teller, and my boss is evaluating me today, so I have to do things just right, or the bank won’t keep me on.
Robber: Ah, come on!
Bank Teller: Well, I’ll be. It looks like someone’s car is being towed out front. [Uh, what?] Poor devil. [Oh, ahhh!] Boy, that’s sure going to ruin someone’s day. [Oh, man!] So, where were we? Okay, before I give you the bag of money, could you fill out this satisfaction survey rating your service today?
Robber: Augh! Does it look like I have any time for that?
Bank Teller: Ah, do me a favor! I’ll even throw in an extra lollipop.
Robber: Ah, tell me this isn’t happening to me! Look, this is supposed to be a bank robbery, and not an afternoon picnic.
Bank Teller: Alright. But I’d suggest you turn around now. Those nice police officers seem like they want to talk to you . . . or something.
Robber: Ah, everything’s going wrong for me today!